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" You don’t owe your family affection if they are being abusive and treating you poorly. I know that it’s so difficult not to feel guilty for holding back that love. I know that there are people who will tell you that you should just grin and bear it because they’re family. People who will shame you for the way you feel. People who will try to convince you that wanting to take care of yourself in this way is selfish and unjustified. But the truth is that it’s not your responsibility to be kind or loving to people who have consistently hurt and mistreated you — especially when these people continue to disregard your feelings, ignore your boundaries, and refuse to take responsibility for their behavior. Just because the person hurting you is family doesn’t make them an exception.

Choosing not to be affectionate with family who have abused or mistreated you doesn’t make you a bad person. It isn’t selfish or disrespectful. It’s a form of self-care. It’s about you honoring your feelings and holding people accountable for their abuse. It’s about you standing up for yourself and your needs. It’s about you making your mental health a priority. So if getting distance from certain family members is what you need right now, or permanently, then you have every right to withhold your love and leave. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for the sake of maintaining a relationship. And you don’t ever have to apologize for creating a safer space for yourself."

openblogtomyabusivemother:

The best tyrants know to convince you that abuse is love.


openblogtomyabusivemother:

I have a tribe of weirdos. My adoptive family didn’t want me, so I made my own! Never let abusive parents stop you from having real family. Family isn’t about blood or law or obligation, it’s about love. Who loves you, makes you feel good about yourself, and sticks by your side? That’s your family.

openblogtomyabusivemother:

I have a tribe of weirdos. My adoptive family didn’t want me, so I made my own! Never let abusive parents stop you from having real family. Family isn’t about blood or law or obligation, it’s about love. Who loves you, makes you feel good about yourself, and sticks by your side? That’s your family.


openblogtomyabusivemother:

Self accepted…check! ;-)

openblogtomyabusivemother:

Self accepted…check! ;-)




openblogtomyabusivemother:

Here’s what I think, who you really are is lovely. Yes, you. There are no exceptions. It applies to everyone. Whoever you are, your true self is a treasure. Don’t let anybody keep you from it.

openblogtomyabusivemother:

Here’s what I think, who you really are is lovely. Yes, you. There are no exceptions. It applies to everyone. Whoever you are, your true self is a treasure. Don’t let anybody keep you from it.


openblogtomyabusivemother:

Abusive parents are often very wrapped up in their own identities and you, as their children, are part of that identity, therefore, they react as if you’re killing them when you don’t conform to their identity. Listen very closely…you aren’t. You may be killing their narcissism driven ability to relate to you as an extension of their self, but in reality, you aren’t doing a damn thing to them. Whatever pain and misery they feel from you being you is their own doing. Don’t let them put it on you.
YOU ARE NOT YOUR ABUSIVE PARENT’S IDENTITY. YOU ARE JUST BEAUTIFUL YOU.

openblogtomyabusivemother:

Abusive parents are often very wrapped up in their own identities and you, as their children, are part of that identity, therefore, they react as if you’re killing them when you don’t conform to their identity. Listen very closely…you aren’t. You may be killing their narcissism driven ability to relate to you as an extension of their self, but in reality, you aren’t doing a damn thing to them. Whatever pain and misery they feel from you being you is their own doing. Don’t let them put it on you.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR ABUSIVE PARENT’S IDENTITY. YOU ARE JUST BEAUTIFUL YOU.



openblogtomyabusivemother:

Oh Art, you clearly met my mother. Lol.

openblogtomyabusivemother:

Oh Art, you clearly met my mother. Lol.


adiologist:

I want my abusive patents’ rejection of me to stop defining who I am. It’s not easy. It’s part of the ground of me, but slowly…slowly I rebuild myself upon ground that is worthy of me.
Dear mom and dad,
Who helped me in my difficult times? Not you. Who left me in my difficult times? You. Who put me in difficult times? You. I spent 30 years feeling I was not worthy of you, when in fact the opposite was the truth. Gradually, I imbue myself with peace…something neither of you will ever have.

adiologist:

I want my abusive patents’ rejection of me to stop defining who I am. It’s not easy. It’s part of the ground of me, but slowly…slowly I rebuild myself upon ground that is worthy of me.

Dear mom and dad,

Who helped me in my difficult times? Not you. Who left me in my difficult times? You. Who put me in difficult times? You. I spent 30 years feeling I was not worthy of you, when in fact the opposite was the truth. Gradually, I imbue myself with peace…something neither of you will ever have.