The best tyrants know to convince you that abuse is love.
I have a tribe of weirdos. My adoptive family didn’t want me, so I made my own! Never let abusive parents stop you from having real family. Family isn’t about blood or law or obligation, it’s about love. Who loves you, makes you feel good about yourself, and sticks by your side? That’s your family.
Self accepted…check! ;-)
Here’s what I think, who you really are is lovely. Yes, you. There are no exceptions. It applies to everyone. Whoever you are, your true self is a treasure. Don’t let anybody keep you from it.
Abusive parents are often very wrapped up in their own identities and you, as their children, are part of that identity, therefore, they react as if you’re killing them when you don’t conform to their identity. Listen very closely…you aren’t. You may be killing their narcissism driven ability to relate to you as an extension of their self, but in reality, you aren’t doing a damn thing to them. Whatever pain and misery they feel from you being you is their own doing. Don’t let them put it on you.
YOU ARE NOT YOUR ABUSIVE PARENT’S IDENTITY. YOU ARE JUST BEAUTIFUL YOU.
Ha. True true.
Oh Art, you clearly met my mother. Lol.
I want my abusive patents’ rejection of me to stop defining who I am. It’s not easy. It’s part of the ground of me, but slowly…slowly I rebuild myself upon ground that is worthy of me.
Dear mom and dad,
Who helped me in my difficult times? Not you. Who left me in my difficult times? You. Who put me in difficult times? You. I spent 30 years feeling I was not worthy of you, when in fact the opposite was the truth. Gradually, I imbue myself with peace…something neither of you will ever have.